Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize