I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Randomize
