That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
