I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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