either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I just got carded by a ten year old.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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