Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
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