i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
