I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
