After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
that is very illegal...i love you.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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