I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Houston, we have a squirter
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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