im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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