doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
