do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
