like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Of course I have a pirate flag
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
