Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize