I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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