3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
