singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize