You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
