Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
