for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
