I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
