all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
