I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
