What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
