What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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