no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
