Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
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