Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Randomize