Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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