ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
