maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
