The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
