peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
