Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
