Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
