dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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