so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize