It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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