I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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