my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize