I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize