sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
