Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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