Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
