i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
