Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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