You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize