Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I know her cup size but not her name....
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