I faked an abortion last night.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
