i'm signing you up for texting rehab
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
