You can't motorboat a personality
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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