sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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