my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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