sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
