Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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