Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
