shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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