if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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