saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
