ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
