nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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