when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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