i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
