My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Is it because I queefed?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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