I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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