Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Randomize
