A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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