The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
